It is the Spirit of God working in us that causes us to desire God. The only hope of obeying him is through the strength of the Holy Spirit. As long as we attempt to please God in our own strength, we will continually please ourselves at the cost of thwarting our own happiness (Romans 6:23).
But if we are practicing obedience through depending on the Holy Spirit and are purifying our souls to obey the truth, let us also love each other fervently with pure hearts. Our motivations are not to please ourselves, but to do what is best for the objects of our love.
God's love that flows through us toward our family and friends is from an incorruptible seed. In other words it is not corrupted with self-centered motives to get what we want or to force others to serve us. It produces genuine affection and kindness toward all who know us, especially to those who sit across the table from us.
It is easier to fake love for others from a distance, than to fake love for members of our own family. If we are able to fool ourselves, we are not able to fool them. Pure love takes a dependence on the genuine love of God (1 Peter 1:22-23).
