Jesus made his opinion of a child abuser very clear. “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it is better for him that a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Mathew 18:6).
Does that mean there is no forgiveness for a child abuser? No, but it does mean there are severe consequences when you know there has been physical or sexual abuse.
Abuse is about power, control, dominance and manipulation. It has nothing to do with love or desire for what is best for the victim. Such words are sugar coated excuses used to avoid taking responsibility for one’s actions. True repentance will include taking responsibility and a turning away from the behavior.
Because violent anger comes from deep psychological wounds, it is extremely important that the spouse require the violator to go through extensive professional counseling. In our economy we cringe at spending money and say we cannot afford it. But the parent who is not the abuser will need to examine his or her priorities. “Is my children’s safety more important than my need to be with this person?” “By staying in an abusive relationship am I also becoming an abuser by allowing this to continue?”
Jesus separated himself from abusers. Should we do any thing less?